If you’re working from home while your kids are remote learning – you may find this article by Janice Marturano helpful. Coffee and Quiet!
Sep 16, 2020
Are You Missing Your Life? Learn How 3 Tips And A Cup Of Coffee Can Help.
Janice Marturano Contributor – Forbes – Careers
When external and internal distractions overwhelm us, we become exhausted and begin to live on …
Janice Marturano is the Founder and Executive Director of the Institute for Mindful Leadership, and the author of Finding the Space to Lead: A Practical Guide to Mindful Leadership
‘Is it really September? It feels like April. I think I missed the summer!’
‘Is it 2020? I feel as though I graduated just last year but it was 5 years ago. Where did those years go??’
If these statements feel familiar, you are not alone. When I am teaching a Mindful Leadership workshop or retreat, these types of statements are commonplace among the professionals. Some go even further and speak about a sense of missing a decade or more. So, what is happening? Why are you missing your life?
The short answer is mismanaged distractions. Distractions come from external sources and internal sources, and they are wearing out our body and our brain. External distractions grow exponentially each year. They come in the form of computers, smartphones, tablets and watches. And they come in the form of a plethora of apps and social media options. And that is just the technology. Distractions also come from the demands of people. Family needs, workplace assignments and social interactions pile on the distractions as well.
And what about that inner voice and the constant loop of your ‘to do’ list? These internal distractions such as your worries, plans, and ruminations also distract you from being fully present in each moment. Even when you are trying to pay attention to the moment, all these distractions pull you right out of the room! And when you are not present, you are living on autopilot, and the moments slip away unnoticed.
It is possible, however, to meet the moments of your life with greater focus, clarity and compassion by managing external distractions and beginning to train your ability to pay attention.
Tips for managing your external distractions:
- Turn off your phone! There are times for being connected, and times for being disconnected. Make some conscious choices to put down the phone so you can attend to what is important. Some examples of times to experiment with ‘unplugging’: during a meeting, speaking with someone you care about, meal times, working on a complex assignment. When your phone is on, a part of your body and mind is on alert for the next notification, and that means your connection to the present is weak.
- Turn off the news! If you haven’t already noticed it, the news can create a constant state of agitation that keeps your emotions churning. Try to listen to it for a limited time each day to stay informed, and then turn it off.
- Take a social media break and see what affect it has on your body/brain. Most people will say that what they see on social media about their friends is often not the full story of their life yet you may find yourself making comparisons and coming up short. What happens if you put it away for a week?
And what about that cup of coffee idea to work with internal distractions? Try this practice for training your mind to focus:
Begin by finding a quiet place to have your coffee. Use all your sense to take in the experience of the moment-feel the warmth of the cup, the aroma of the coffee, the taste on your tongue, etc. Whenever your mind begins to take you away from the experience of drinking the coffee, redirect it back to the moment. This redirection is the practice. As often as your mind wanders, bring it back. Each time you redirect, you are strengthening your ability to focus, to pay attention.
Try this practice each time you have a cup of coffee. After a while, you will begin to notice that you have the ability to be focused even in the midst of a chaotic meeting or conversation. And when you are more focused, your decisions are likely to be aligned with your best self! Be patient with yourself, and enjoy the journey.
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I am the Founder and Executive Director of the Institute for Mindful Leadership, a nonprofit organization dedicated to offering leaders an in-depth exploration of mindful leadership training and its impact on the cultivation of leadership excellence. I founded the Institute in January, 2011, after ending my legal/business career as a senior executive with a Fortune 200 company. In 2006, while still an officer at General Mills, I taught the very first mindful leadership curricula to a group of colleagues. Demand then began to spread throughout the company and, since 2008, to thousands of leaders at organizations around the world. I have brought this training to the World Economic Forum, Brookings Institute and top business schools. I am the author of the award winning, international best-selling book, “Finding the Space to Lead: A Practical Guide to Mindful Leadership.” My work has been featured in the BBC, Huff Post Live, NY Times, Financial Times, Time magazine, CNBC, CEO magazine and Forbes.
